Like the rest of us I have been spending a lot more time at home than I usually would since March of 2020. There have been times where I have not left my property for weeks on end. Working from home means you can do things during the day that you couldn’t before so baking is the first thing I turned to as in the past it had always calmed me. What I found happening as I was baking in the early days was “there is too much here, I can’t eat it all or I will gain too much weight and I can’t give it to anyone else so now what?” I experienced that the one thing that had calmed in the past was now adding to my stress, so what do I do now?
For awhile I stopped baking. I watched what I ate at an almost obsessive point trying so hard not to eat too many carbs or fats and to exercise as much as I could in my own home and yard. I still gained weight and that created anxiety and concern. I had to take a break for a bit and revisit what made me love to bake in the first place. My relationship with baking had changed some since being on TGCBS.3, and I had to find my way back to where it started. I started baking smaller batches of things; cookies, cakes and pastries and found my comfort again in that process. I still want to learn and grow as a baker, but it still needs to be a source of comfort and joy for me, and on my terms. In reflection I found I baked for the sole purpose of posting a bake on social media, and that became stressful too. That’s not going to be the case anymore, if I have something to share I will post it but I won’t be baking solely for that reason.
As the holidays near, I know I will pick up the pace and bake more and share that in some fashion with those who I care about. Posts will become more frequent too but because I want to bake, not because I feel I have to. This is where I am now, and that may change but for now this is ok.